Counting Compliments

The other day Elijah caught a fly... with his bare hands... I thought that was pretty disgusting, but said: "Wow Elijah -- you caught a fly! You must be really fast!"

Desiree looked at me sadly like she was waiting for me to give a compliment to her. She then said: "I feel like you don't compliment me very much". I was pretty proud of her for voicing her feelings so eloquently. Then I asked if she wanted me to say: "Wow Desiree -- you caught a fly! You must be really fast!". She agreed that would be silly since she hadn't caught a fly.

I told her that I was fairly sure that I compliment both of them equally overall, although not always at the same time. I explained if I were passing out ice cream cones I'd give them both an ice cream cone at the same time. But, I told her, I try to give genuine compliments as they are deserved and that the compliments are specific to the person I'm giving them to.

Later on that day I gave her a compliment. I made a point of saying after "Did you just hear my compliment?" She realized that she had barely noticed the compliment I had given her, yet she had certainly noticed her lack of compliments earlier when I complimented her brother.

Personally, I often wait expectantly for a compliment to come my way. You know -- one that I really deserve. I can almost hear it... but, then ... I don't. Not everyone is following the same script as me and the compliment that seemed so deserved doesn't come my way after all. Being a mom, in particular, is often described as a thankless job. Surely someone will notice though and blow my horn for me. I need it to be blown. I need to hear it to know that I still have a horn -- that I still have some worth.

It seems like it is often human nature for us to notice the lack of good coming our way more than the good that's right in front of us. I need to remind myself to look for the good -- and to give compliments instead of counting them...

~❀~ Chelsey ~❀~