Monday, March 15, 2010

The Judgement of Strangers

I regularly experience the judgement of strangers. It's like I have a sign on me that says "Judge me" because I have active children.

Just the other day I went to the mall and my three year old son ran off on me (still in my sight) to the ride on cars. I insisted he come back (and he did not). As I hurried towards him, a lady, who had been watching, says to me in a condescending tone of voice: "That's how children get kidnapped, you know".

Clearly this lady (if she ever had kids!) had been the perfect mother of perfect children. Just because my kids are active doesn't mean I'm an incompetent parent.

Another time my neighbour (dad of two docile girls) phoned to bawl me out when my son (who had just turned three) climbed a bush in our backyard and jumped our five foot fence into his yard!!! I hadn't expected he would do that! In the time it took me to run around to the front yard to their yard to get my son, the neighbour phoned me up and left a message saying that I needed to watch my children better and that he and his wife were capable of watching their two children even though they both worked so why couldn't I watch my two properly as a stay at home mom. (I guess it slipped his mind that they have a babysitter!) When I called him back (why did I do that?) I tried explaining to him that all children are different, but he figured he had two children and I had two children and so it was the same. Nevermind that his docile girls would never dream of climbing a bush or jumping a fence. To imply that all kids are the same and that parenting is the same for everyone is crazy.

Children are all different. What works best for one child doesn't work for another (even in the same family). That's what makes parenting such a challenge! I'd love it if people would stop judging me as a parent based on what kind of kids they themselves have. My kids may not be docile and submissive all the time, but they're creative and a lot of fun. I may not be the best parent ever, but I'd like to think that I'm the best parent for them.

How have you been judged as a parent? (cause I know you have...)

~❀~ Chelsey ~❀~


  1. Ugh, I've been there! Judgmental parents can separate the best of friends...I had a friend who had two sweet girls who were content to work on puzzles, play games and dolls and read all day. Me...I have two very active boys who are pretty strong-willed. Not the same.

    I suspect that parents with easy-going kids become so confident in their parenting, thinking they have it down and their parenting is so great--when really it is just their kids' personality is different and they would be completely different parents if they had more challenging kids.

    I hate being judged. Not fun.

  2. That's so true, Kim...

    It's interesting when once in a blue moon parents of easy-going kids get a surprise active / strong willed child in their family! Then they realize it wasn't their parenting skills after all. lol...

  3. People should really just mind their own business. So rude.


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