Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Lie's Still a Lie -- Even When it's White.

My husband and I have been watching the tv show "Lie to Me" with Tim Roth (not Gary Oldman -- I mix those guys up ever since being introduced to them in "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"). Anyways -- this isn't your typical detective type show. This show solves the mystery by using the science of lie detection (with no lie detector machine required). Check this show out if you haven't already.

In the meantime check out this snippet from the show. It's a funny, honest song about white lies that will have you humming all day:

My kids (3 and 6) have experimented with lying. You know -- the age old: "No, I didn't eat any chocolate." when they have it smeared all over their mouths. If only all lies were so easy to detect...

Types of Less Conventional Lies:

*White Lies -- I love honesty, but I'll admit to being a little embarrassed when my kids are brutally honest about things like disliking supper at someone else's house. I've made a point not to teach them how to tell white lies, but it is hard to teach them to be honest all the time and to still use manners. I tell them not to say they liked the meal if they didn't, but that they can still say "thank you" because the host worked hard to make the meal.

*Half Truths. A half truth is withholding information, but people figure it's okay because it's not like telling a bold faced lie. This is why in court people are asked to tell "the whole truth" -- after all a half truth is technically also a half lie. My kids are too young to dabble with half truths as of yet and I'd love for them to avoid them all together. I'll let you know how that goes...

*Lying with Your Actions. To me, the definition of sneaking is lying with your actions. If a person is doing something on the sly that someone else is unaware of then the intention is to deceive them. My son (3) is a notorious sneaker, but he's such an open book about it. You can see when he has a plan to sneak, when he's mid-sneak and when he's snuck (and I mean even without the help of chocolate on the face).

Right now the biggest lie we're dealing with is "I'm full". My kiddos have discovered that full people don't have to eat more while picky people do. Strange how moments later they'll be hungry if desert is hinted at!

Share your feelings on lying. And please -- be honest.

~❀~ Chelsey ~❀~


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  2. So true!

    It is never ok to lie.

    I don't believe in lying, but I do it on occasion. Mostly to save face with people or to protect people’s feelings.

    I think the difference between the two is that a white lie protects others and other lies protect one-self.

    A preiest friend of mine who also has a blog called "aconcordpastorcomments" says, "How much do you value the truth?"

    Truth is the glue of the trust that bonds us to one another. Truth is what we build our lives on, trusting that it will give us a firm foundation. Truth is a solid hardwood floor on which to walk - lies are trapdoors ready to spring and let us drop through.

    Truth is a reflection of what is, not what what we wish. Truth is an image of reality, not fantasy. Truth is a word that faithfully voices what the speaker believes.

    There are times when misrepresenting the truth may serve a higher truth. The child asks an adult, "I drew a picture of Mommy. Doesn't it look just like her?" The image may look more like an alarm clock but you confirm what is the child's truth at the expense of the objective truth.

    But GreenMountainMan is right: we should always strive to tell the truth. Otherwise, we begin to deconstruct the bonds that leads us to trust each other.

    There's wisdom in the old saying, "What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive..."

    Great blog!

  3. Concord Carpenter,

    That's an interesting point about confirming the child's truth at the expense of the objective truth. I've never actually had a child ask me that -- only had them state factually what it was and/or ask if I liked it.

    I always say "My favourite part is...". There's always something to compliment -- either "My favourite part is how you made Mommy's hair so curly" or if it truly looks like an alarm clock something like: "My favourite part is how you made this picture so colourful!"

    You brought up thought provoking points -- I especially like your metaphor: "lies are trapdoors".

  4. Interesting conversation, Chelsey & Concord Carpenter. :)

    Great blog, Chelsey! I saw that show too, and thought the song was very clever. :)


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